The query letter in an alternate universe - top five suggestions for handling rejections
Query letter rejections in the alternate universe range from polite ("It's not me, it's you," or "[insert literary agent's name] is just not that into you") to the concise ("Just no."). Regardless of which one you may receive, RW (that's RaucousWriter) has some suggestions to ease the rejection blues.
First, make, buy, or better yet, get someone else to make or buy, a large container of macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes, or other comfort food, and consume as much as you can. Add extra cheese, sour cream, butter, cream, and truffle oil for good measure. Despite the rejection, you deserve a consolation prize.
Second, have a cocktail. If you don't drink, have a big glass of chocolate milk. Preferably the full-fat kind. Both wine and milk have health benefits.
Third, write a blog about how to handle query letter rejections.
Fourth, binge watch something to take your mind off your recent rejection. Anything with Kevin Spacey, men in kilts, or zombies would work.
And finally, have some chocolate cake with real, buttercream frosting. Not the whipped cream or shortening stuff. The real thing, which has only five ingredients: cocoa powder, butter, real vanilla, powdered sugar, and cream.
Committed to the craft, RW suggests all of the above.