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Answers to music's burning questions

Did you ever notice how many songs ask questions that remain unanswered? I did, and here are my responses:

1. “Why do fools fall in love?” Because they’re idiots.

2. “Why are there so many songs about rainbows?” I wasn’t aware there were that many, but if there are, the reason is that rainbows are cool. And pretty.

3. “Why can’t this be love?” It can, but maybe it wasn’t meant to be.

4. “How can we be lovers if we can’t be friends?” Maybe you have a singular skill set.

5. “Where have all the flowers gone?” They’ve disappeared due to global warming.

6. “Who’ll stop the rain?” It will stop when it’s good and ready.

7. “Isn’t life strange?” Indeed it is.

8. “Should I stay or should I go?” That depends. Did you bring ice cream, booze, or a good movie with you?

9. “What’s the frequency, Kenneth?” Every day.

10. “Who will save your soul?” That’s a loaded one. You, a higher power, or no one.

11. “Who let the dogs out?” Your toddler who forgot to close the screen door.

12. “Do you love me?” If you’re the person I’m thinking of right now, then yes.

13. “What’s going on?” Check out CNN.

14. “Doesn’t anybody stay together anymore?” Yes, but the divorce rate in the U.S. continues to climb.

15. “Isn’t she lovely?” Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

16. “What’s new pussycat?” I barfed up a hairball in a fancy shoe.

17. “Who’s zoomin’ who?” I don’t know, but I think it’s illegal in 39 states.

18. “Do you believe in magic?" I despise it, but I love the genre of magical realism.

19. “Do you wanna dance?” Sure, as long as it’s not line dancing.

20. “Do you really want to hurt me?” No, but I wouldn’t mind if you cried a little.

21. “Wouldn’t it be nice?” Sure, depending on the definition of “it.”

22. “Is she really going out with him?” I heard that rumor, but maybe it’s just a fling.